Phew!

Wow, this week has really been flying by. I can't believe it's already the Wednesday evening before I leave... So far, my room is in shambles, I'm trying to sell everything I can, and my roommates are suddenly acting a little nicer (well, one of them is). Maybe they are just as relieved as I am that I'm leaving (lol).







Prague is certainly coming alive for the holidays, especially near Old Town Square (where I live). There are impromptu "Christmas Markets" popping up all over the city, but the most 'official' looking ones are definitely in downtown. A traditional decoration (or kind gift to friends) is a gold, silver, or copper paint-sprayed type of branch (not sure what type it is) and they are sold mostly on the streets, along with Christmas trees, hot wine (yummm), various home-made knick knacks, Trdelnik (cinnamon and sugar covered bread-type rolls, totally dee-lish), and everything else touristy/Christmasy.

See some of you soon...

- Nova.

Nearing the end...

Hi all. I think I need to clarify something - I have been getting a ton of grief from friends who now think that I smoke! What I said in the last post was: I ...don't smoke in the flat, which yes, does sound misleading but what I was trying to demonstrate is that I don't smoke and they do (in our technically "non-smoking" flat). I have always hated the taste/smell of cigarettes and I don't think that will change any time soon! Eeew, gross!! LOL!! And thank you for being concerned with my health. :)

That said...

I'm nearing the end, friends. Less than two weeks to go, and I'm feeling anxious/excited/relieved/unsure/greatful about what is going to happen when I return home. I'm squeaking by (sort of) financially but am not sure how long I can last couch-surfing. What I'm really jonesin' for is to be in Seattle for about two months, relax, see friends, calm my spirit a bit/heal from Prague... And then take off again for another 3-6 months. I have to go someplace cheap since funds are low (I'm thinking most likely Central/South America). I'm just not ready to stay home yet... Still planning on attempting university again in the fall but am feeling the need to not be in Seattle up until then. We'll see. For now, I'm trying my best to keep my heart open to the Universe and recieve what comes my way with humility and appreciation. And praying my luggage makes the weight limits on the way back home!

- Nova.

Three weeks and three days!

<-- Presenting at the Expat Expo on Halloween day, with StageStars...

In just a few weeks I will be HOME!!!... Ahhhh... :) The month of November has been flying by (good sign), but there really isn't much to report.

Halloween was more fun than I thought it would be. In the afternoon StageStars had a presentation at the Expat Expo, which was really great and the parents loved. For evening-festivities, I was waiting to hear back from ex-TEFL friends, who apparently got together but never told me about it... so I wound up spending the evening with another friend at a party out in the Middle-of-Nowhere, Czech Republic. Though my costume was fairly lame (just a pair of cat ears, ALL I could find - no such thing as costume shops here) I felt decently celebratory and ingested massive amounts of alcohol. Good times.

My jobs are nearing "the end" and I can feel the anticipation from the kids about the shows. However, this anticipation has not translated into them understanding we need to use our last few weeks productively and them not goofing-off during class! :) I will really miss some of them. I wouldn't really be able to teach these classes in Seattle; there would be so many more-qualified teachers available than me, it would be near impossible to get a gig doing what I'm doing at the pay-rate I'm getting. So I'm savoring the last of this experience and plumping up my resume as much as I can. Getting great letters of recommendation has been awesome, too. I have really loved telling people "I'm a dance teacher" when they ask me what I'm doing in Prague...

My housing-situation has become increasingly uncomfortable. Since I'm leaving soon, my flatmates are now showing my room to people. My only request about the whole process has been to try and keep the showing-times to the evenings. Other than that, I've been staying out of the way, keeping my room looking nice/clean, and generally trying to be as accommodating as possible (as I always have been here - I hardly use the kitchen, keep my bath-products in one small area of the shower, don't smoke in the flat, do only one load of laundry at a time, don't have loud parties in my room, etc.). Only once has there been a scheduled showing wasn't a good time for me (they didn't ask before scheduling it, only informed me very matter-of-factly that it was happening) and I asked if it could be rescheduled. The next day I got a 15-minute lecture on how I can't have so many "conditions" and that I'm thwarting their plans to fill my room, etc. They even attempted to guilt-trip me about leaving Prague earlier than I had told them I would, de-friending them on Facebook... What a cherade. And while I was mid-sentence, they turned their back to me and walked away. And they wonder why I de-friended them, or why I feel uncomfortable and disrespected living here! Apparently, I'm not allowed to have my own schedule (seriously, their exact words), and that if they schedule a showing time of my room, I just have to deal with it. I'm not allowed to have any requests about it (y'know, 'cause it's not like I'm still living in the room that I've paid for. Sheesh...). So I've decided to not make it so easy for them anymore. I will live in intentional squalor, not answer inquiries about seeing the room, hang around naked/sleeping, and make it clearly uncomfortable/awkward for them to show my room when I don't want them to.

This week I ventured to Cesky Krumlov. It's about a 3-hour bus ride (which is gorgeous, by the way... the countryside is really fantastic) and then you arrive in this adorable little town. Totally medieval-feeling, very cute. The whole thing is pretty small too - you can walk around it in just a few hours. There is a large castle there to check out... And about a million hostels/pensions. I saw more places to stay than I did touristy-shops that sold scarves/figurines/alcohol. But overall, a very relaxing place. And the weather was miraculously perfect: blue skies, sunny and warm! I really needed to get away from my flatmates - the whole lecture-thing had happened the night before I left and I was sooooo glad I was leaving the next day!

AND... I have bangs! I cut them while a little buzzed, in bad lighting, with bad scissors. So they are a bit... funky. LOL! I think they'll look better after they've grown out a little and I can get them professionally re-shaped in Seattle (I don't trust hair stylists here, have you seen the average Czech person's hair?!?). But for now, I feel like a new woman... ;)

In the meantime, I still haven't figured out what I want to do with my life in the next few months. For now, I know I'm returning to Seattle for a few weeks and then hopefully taking off again to a new destination. Getting all the way back to Europe will be difficult/expensive, and I will be at ZERO dollars... So I'm thinking about cheap places on "my" side of the planet. Mexico, or maybe Costa Rica. Who knows...

- Nova.

Hot wine = yummy goodness.

...Another chilly week in Prague! The weather is getting much colder, and I'm glad it's not storming/snowing yet (I probably just jinxed it and it will start tomorrow :P). I'm really glad that I brought my long winter coat from Seattle.

A good remedy for the cold is "hot wine," cheaply sold on the streets of Prague by overly-bundled vendors. It's a mixture of spices (mostly cinnamon and nutmeg), lemon, sugar, and heated wine. Suuuper yummy. I had never experienced this until last Thursday night... and I've been missing out! My previous adventures in Europe have been during the summer, so all of these winter traditions are new to me. I do think it's too bad that Czechs skip Halloween and Thanksgiving, but the Christmas lights up everywhere at this point sure are pretty. It's getting dark really early (4pm-ish!), so they are nice to have on when I'm walking home in the evenings.

I've been trying to go out more often this week. I do want to enjoy my last month in Prague, I just don't know many people here and the ones I do know are usually pretty busy. But I managed to see some live singing/guitar at a local pub Thursday night, go dancing Friday night, and see the Michael Jackson film Saturday night (it's really amazing, I highly recommend seeing it - see it soon though, it's only being released to theaters and for a limited time). Today I did a little shopping and have been pounding tea to try and get rid of this sore throat. I found where I can buy thread, very cheap candles and duct tape, but still can't find cough drops or cough syrup anywhere...

- Nova.

Actual recent news.

Well, it looks like I've waited too long on the job in Rome. Still working on lining up another one, as I was really excited to go there and experience that culture. If those attempts fall through as well, then I guess it's a sign that I should stay put in Seattle for a while...

In the meantime, I'm spending another lonely night at home. I wish I was out with friends and having a good time... But, oh wait, I don't have any friends here.

I'm so sick of Prague. I can't wait to get away from this place of loneliness, bad karma, blatant racism, general bad attitudes, uninteresting food, failed ventures, cold apartments, and being totally broke.

- Nova.

Recent news.

Well... There actually isn't much to report! Haha... :)

Really, it's true. I've just been steadily humming along with my three part-time jobs, and maybe one or two English lessons a week (if I'm lucky). So far, the two dance gigs and the drama gig are going pretty well, with a few minor hiccups that mostly have to do with me not planning enough of my material in advance (despite all my free time... me = procrastinator!). But all are still exciting, engaging, and very fulfilling. Even though I feel like Prague is my "jail," at least I get to do some really cool stuff while I'm here...

I think my favorite job is the Hip Hop/Jazz class I teach on Tuesdays. The kids are a bit older, I have fewer of them to control so it's less of a circus, and though they are just as much 'beginners' as the kids at my other jobs (in terms of not having a strong dance-background, etc.), they are learning the quickest -- which means I can do more complicated, fun, and challenging kinds of things with them. I've been really impressed with how much they've learned in just a handful of short weeks.

My Thursday "Movement/Dance" class with the choir is going well too. The kids are starting to at least all sway to the right or left all together, which, believe you me, is no small feat. The director invited me to check out the adult choir last week... Though the material they are singing is interesting, it's not really my style. I'm actually more interested in doing a movement-something with them, because I think they need it(!). However, it's hard to say 'no' to a possible social life when I'm so clearly deprived of one, so we will see what happens.

And the Saturday job is a whirlwind, as always. I love it, but it's definitely the most energy-draining! I am 'on' for a solid 3+ hours with high energy, entertaining kids, prepping multiple pieces for the show in December, and always at a loss for what to do with my very youngest group! Ahhhh... What a great challenge for me. I love it. It's perfect, except for the fact that it starts so early on Saturday mornings! ;)

As for the plan come December... Well... That's still undecided and amorphous. I'm sure you're wondering how I can possibly be staying so calm (look, see? I'm calm), despite not having the next six months planned in detail, as I normally would. Well friends, all I can say is that I'm learning to let go better. Or at least really trying, very hard, to let go better. I've been making peace with my constantly-changing situation and have been trying to only focus on the positives of every possible outcome.

Of course, I would looove to go to Rome to aupair with a family. What an amazing experience it would be, to live in a culture I've been curious about for so many years, to experience what it means to live with a 'real' family, to learn Italian, to eat amazing food every day, to strengthen my abilities with children even more... I can think of so many great things that would come from going there. The family I've been speaking with sounds so amazing, friends. I wish I could introduce them to you all. Their little boy is absolutely adorable, and the parents seem like really solid, honest and good people.

And of course, I would also be grateful to have some rest, some down-time at home in Seattle. If Rome falls through, at least I could heal my heart from the pain of Prague while being surrounded by friends who love and care about me. I have really missed the network of support and love that is waiting for me back home. I recently re-read though this entire blog, start to finish, and one post near the beginning really struck me: it was one before we got on the plane and I was talking about witnessing, in a short amount of time and in a deep way, all the people that love you in your life and wish you well. It was such a touching experience. Thinking of returning home to that love warms me all the way down to my toes (no easy task, the heat keeps cutting out in my room and it's freezing!). I could have my cat again (a very big deal to me), start 'over' again, find work, be able to breathe... It would be nice to understand what all the food is at the grocery store, to be in a place I know my way around with my eyes closed...

And if Rome fell through but something in my heart didn't want to stay in Seattle, I suppose I could couch-surf for a few more weeks and try to find another family to aupair with (one outside the Schengen Zone at this point). The possibilities are endless. Regardless of what happens, I know two things for sure: 1) I am starting at a university next fall. 2) I can only let myself see the positives of each possible outcome in December.

Think happy thoughts for me, friends. I need comfort in this cold and unwelcoming place. I need a miracle from the Italian Visa-office.

- Nova.

Re-reading old posts...

I love reading old journal/blog/diary entries. What a good sense of perspective (and in most cases, nostalgia) it gives one...

I remember how adamant I was that this trip to Europe would be a move, not just a vacation. I really put my foot down about it when you guys would say "oh wow, that sounds like it will be a really fun trip!" I didn't want to just be another tourist that spent a few months there, never bothering to learn any words in the local language, relying only on other expats for a social life, still unaware of the culture they were living in. Granted, I have only learned a little bit of Czech (barely enough to speak in one or two full sentences), have hardly a handful of friends (of whom only one is actually part Czech), and have more or less stopped caring about what's inside the national monuments I walk by every day (I have yet to even take a proper tour of the city)...

But what really gets me is that I thought I would be here for years. Like 5 years or more. Then it dwindled to 2 or 3 years. Now, I'm planning to leave the country after being here for about 6 months! If The Language House (TLH) had actually placed us in jobs, or even given us the job assistance, I would now be working full time, have a valid Visa, and be able to travel on weekends. The main reason I picked Prague was because it is so centrally-located, thus it would be seemingly easy to take a quick train to Germany/Slovakia/Poland/Austria/wherever for the weekend and be able to experience more of Europe on a smaller budget and full-time work schedule. But with no Visa, I can't cross borders for fear of being deported. And with no full-time work, I don't have the money for a train ticket anyway.

In theory, it was a good plan. But the crucial piece - finding work and securing my Visa - was never put into the puzzle... and that gaping black-hole just continued to consume every other piece around it. Not to mention how assuredly I had thought that I covered every possible aspect of the plan...

Remember this step-by-step plan from an entry back in June?

• Step 1: Get to Prague. Had that covered, Scot's family had generously offered us tickets, and of course, I had chosen the "perfect" European location - right in the middle with plenty of options to see/experience other cultures close by, but still a major international city.
• Step 2: Find a place to stay. No problem, had a free house for the first month, then the TLH promised to help us find housing if we couldn't figure it out on our own.
• Step 3: Get a job. No problem there either, was getting TEFL certified at TLH and then they promised to get us work, or at the very least help with finding interviews and all that. Then of course the Visa would be automatically underway once we had work.
• Step 4: Settle in. Sure, why not? With no worries and everything settled, of course I was assuming I would kick into nesting-mode and make my own little niche of 'home.'
• Step 5: Pursue passions. This seems to be the only step that has actually worked (for me anyway; Scot busted ass to try and play gigs here, but only really wound up with one, before he was forced to return home after running out of funds). Too bad my passion-fulfilling work amounts to about five hours a week total, between all three jobs... And now I feel obligated, rather than excited, to stay until December for the shows.

LOL! What a list, huh? I thought that I had thought of everything, making sure that all bases were covered, that I had enough money saved, a couple of contacts here, that TLH would actually deliver what it said it would (why would I think they wouldn't?), that the Visa process involved more paperwork than I was used to for most things but that it was a relatively straight-forward and simple process. Boy, was I wrong!!

Looking at it now, I can only laugh. Sure, it's painful to realize I had invested so much (emotionally, financially) into moving to Praha, only to have yet another dream/plan shattered before my eyes (while living through it!). But every day that I am here, every hour I feel like I'm in jail, just waiting to finish my sentence... I can only laugh at what a tragic-comedy of errors this has turned out to be. How every sign in the Universe, no matter how small, is screaming at me in a neon-fluorescent visual assault: NOVA! YOU DON'T BELONG HERE! I belong somewhere else. I gave it an honest try, put a lot of love, energy, money, time and hope into my plan to make this place my new home... but despite my best efforts, I just need to move on.

So, regardless of what happens in December - whether my Visa papers for Italy go through or not, whether I take off to Rome or stay in Seattle - I will just be so damn grateful to be anywhere but here!

The only thing I still enjoy about Prague at this point is how it looks - the architecture is absolutely amazing, building have stunning details and colors, and so much history has been preserved. But I can't only appreciate how things look. I can't be that superficial. My love for where I am can't only be skin-deep. I'm glad I came here and experienced this place, but I never want to come back here ever again. Not even to vacation. I've had my fill, and this place given me nothing but struggle and heartache.

To end on a positive note: I'm really, really looking forward to coming home. I already loathe Christmas as it is... It would make it that much worse to have to spend it here (in 'jail'). At least I will be around you, dear friends, and can re-charge my spirit with familiarity, comfort, support, good food... Ahhh. I can't wait. :)

- Nova.

P.S. If you are at all able, I humbly appreciate any support (no matter how small!) so I can survive the next two months in Praha...

Amber's visit.

My good friend Amber, whom I affection-
ately call my "ginger twin," came to visit me for a week a few days after Scot left. Thank the Universe for good friends! Though I'm still pretty lonely without Scot, she definitely helped lift my spirits a bit, and find the humor I had lost about being here in Prague.

We did a couple of touristy things, saw a few major monuments/buildings, had a lot of tea-stops in various cute cafes, took photos of every mullet we could whip out our cameras fast enough to capture, and did a LOT of shopping. :) One night we went out on the town, and I showed her the club that Scot had played at while he was here; then we went to a really hilarious 80's bar and danced our asses off to Madonna and The Cure.

For me, the best part was having someone to talk to about my ever-changing circumstances. I know I haven't posted in a while about what-the-heck is going on with me over here and what my plans are come December. Amber and I did a lot of brainstorming... and I clarified what I need and want to do.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, I've been thinking about being an Aupair. I signed up with a few agencies and have been speaking with a few families around the world. There is a family in Rome that I would love to work/live with, but there is the issue of the Schengen Zone restrictions... BUT... There may be a possible way around it. Long story short: there will be a lot of paperwork and waiting involved but if the family is willing to wait for me, and it can all come together, I could be living in Italy from about mid-January 2010 until next September or so. Right now I'm trying not to be too hopeful, as doing that always seems to taunt the Universe into not giving me what it originally lined up. So I'm keeping my head down, hoping and praying these last two months in Prague go by quickly, and not getting too excited about anything.

Regardless, I will be coming home to Seattle for a few weeks just before Christmas. I need to be in the U.S. to apply for the Aupair visa, and I also want to drop a few things off in storage. I will also be homeless, completely out of money (like, not even $10 to my name and no room left on my credit card), and will need a little help... Mainly, I need couches to crash on. If I can stay with you for a couple of days, I would really appreciate it. If you feel like donating to the cause to help me get through the next two months here in Praha, the button still works:

- Nova.

Photos from the Zoo.

Before Scot left, we had a day at the famous Praha Zoo together. Here are some pics...

Da bears.

This was the best part about the zoo! There was a small area where you could hang out with the lemurs, up close, with no fence or barrier between you and them. Super cool. :)

The bunnies were so flippin' cute, but this little baby took the cake.

These little guys moved so fast it was hard to get a non-blurry photo, but they basically look like tiny black monkeys with yellow hands/feet. And sort of evil.

Look at those teeth...

He looks like he's lighting a pipe!

Mmm... Kitty...

Not sure if they were trying to mate or what, but the one on top kept falling off and stepping on the bottom one's face. At one point the top one was completely turned around...

This tiger was less than inches from me. Absolutely amazing. I was pressed up against the glass, and he kept walking so close to it his fur & whiskers brushed the glass too.

I have water in the desert!

I love otters!!

This little guy was sooo cute.